Journals
Politics
Fear is the catalyst for any human endeavor. They, the warriors, the oppressed, the MAGA red hatters, the losers and winners, embark on a journey through their own mindset to attempt to radically shape the future that fits the narrative they believe in and pray or cherish each night before they go to bed and the first glimpse of happiness in the morning light. The air they breathe is not the same as the ones they fight do. The smeared air has lies and hate and substance from the past built around their heads. The people I am talking about are Lying Republicans, Selfish Democrats, and obnoxiously ruthless Independents. The ones I write about do harm by believing their voices are correct. They see no alternative in the path they attempt to lay. The words, social media posts, violent rallies and protests all mixed to create chaos and disorder. The empathy and exposure to their ideas are only considered by their own supporters, never to be dissected by the other side. That is the problem I have noticed. Age does not matter here. All ages can be so perceptive in their own values, they see to never know or truly acknowledge the other side. “Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgment” says Michael Corleone of his tempter driver nephew. This quote resonates through my mind and eternal realm of unconsciousness for years, and always will. I see when the people are defending their side, and the opposition comes at them hot. They seem to be cowards and bend and reach to insults and overheated voices. This is not solving the problem. They fear what they can not support. They insult when they are not informed. And when not informed, they should say they are not knowledgeable about the subject and move on, rather than saying facts they can not support, or their own personal beliefs. Sharing your own personal beliefs is strictly your own and not the majority's opinion. When sharing how the majority of people think, or what they voted for, one can not hind from that. I do believe Trump changed politics for a certain time period, but not forever. Times change and people evolve and California was once red, not blue, and slowly getting more red every four years. We all understand the other side believes in order to break them down and show how big the flaws really are. I ask people how much they watch their opposite viewpoints political news shows.
“All they do is lie!”
“They are just so stupid.”
“It drives me crazy.”
These are quotes I have heard. But how do you know they lie?
Because one news station showed a clip of a far-right or far-left spokes person saying something the majority of their party will not believe in?
On election night 2024, I watched CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and had four different websites updating the elector map, 270towin, AP NEWS, The New York Times, and another one I can not remember. I am not saying I do not have a bias, but I see each side evenly that they all have their point. And I can argue each side with optimism and harsh realities.
“I understand why it's appealing.”
A family member cuts me off and says, “I don’t!”.
The day after the election, two girls in one of my classes had the same response to the results, but they did differ on how to respect other viewpoints. One was understanding to the aspect of religion and one was so closed minded words got fired as insults, and she was asked to leave the classroom.
The next day, a white girl cried about why people are so disrespectful, a black girl said to the white girl about how she doesn’t understand what she is fighting for since she has “white privilege.” Later on in class, a white man cries for Hispanics.
I sit and oversee always with no judgment. I always question. It would be impolite to ask why they are feeling this way and what steps they can take. I say to my teacher and family members, I do not care what you believe. But I do care what decisions and experiences were made for them to feel the way they do.
In my class, Wednesday morning after the election we took a moment to do a free write for 5 minutes. I wrote about how to deal with change. I raised my hand when the five minutes was almost done and said to my teacher, This is a time, whether good or bad, to write and to express our ideas and have them in a text book for the next generation to see.
She grabbed my hand and said for me to tell this to the class. She got the student's attention and I spoke.
It doesn’t matter if yesterday was the best or worst day in our life. What matters is how we react to it. What have we been learning about all semester? What disadvantages people have experienced and how they have used that through writing, drawing, sculpting, and different ways of creative expression? This is to show and expose the way we feel in order to be in the next generations texts books to see how they can understand our blessings or misdeeds.
I’M
I deconstruct the myths that are built up by society, family, and past illusions of the elders who taught it to us.
I acknowledge which truths I held in my heart, and believed for so long, yet to be horribly devastated by the real truth. Understanding that the curtain can be pulled away. Understanding that the walls can be broken. To see it all as a shocking, crippling revelation. It brings you down to your knees and hands on the floor that is dirty and bloody and all you have to do is sob to understand every belief you were told to you has been a lie.
Of course not everything is, but when doubt starts to find its way into the home of those delusions built up by cardboard and bubblegum, the wind blows and it is then turned to dust on the floor.
On Everything
It’s a sense of doubt.
It’s the recrimination of who is correct.
It’s the ability to unconsciously know what to do in a time of anger. The skill to deviate off course and then find an emotion or fear that is precipitous.
The quiet moments in between the deafening and serene. The contemplations you have with yourself after can cause great comfort, or doubt are beautiful and complex.
This is a family gathering.
I have just come across a picture. This picture entails a party. The family was all there. All of them.
The memory is vast, troubled and sometimes delicate. I am not sure what I remember to be true. I did not admire the time in that moment, yet I admire that moment now. The idea of being present in that past memory is knowing how to conform to people around you, the room, the smell, the taste. The consequences of this is you miss the memories too much. If you don’t admire the moment too much, know every detail, you may just never be sad.